Giving away your possessions does lead to this goal, instead it requires giving away of attachment and conquering the biggest enemy in this way that is, desire. The moment the level of possessiveness goes beyond the normal level it takes serious turns and sometimes even breaks the relationship. Therefore one cannot free him from the duties and responsibilities for which he is here to observe detachment. It is a very dangerous emotion, especially in relationships since if not controlled it can even spoil you equations with the other person. She may not welcome the idea if you invite your parents to your place and demands that instead you should pay a visit to them and let her live at her own peace. She may not take it lightly when you speak with other girls. Although no one in this world is free from the clutches of possession since everybody is in possession of something in his life. In marriage what is yours is theirs and what is theirs is yours. At the same time females need to be possessive about their male since it helps to control her male to provide better opportunities for her progeny. However, if you find your boyfriend or man to be too much possessive about you it would be wise in your part to think about the relationship twice before you move along. What is more important is that you still love him/her. She may not take it lightly when you speak with other girls. Possessiveness also attacks when one thinks too deeply over trifle matters. Love is much deeper because love is pure. When someone is jealous, he/ she behave differently when the thing or person he/ she desires the most is attained by him/ her or the other person does behave in a way desired by him/ her. The hand full of dirt analogy was incredible. If one could do so then almost 90 percent of the problems would solve and many hearts would be saved from crashing. Things may not end here as she would like to check you mobile, messages and even mails.She may not welcome the idea if you invite your parents to your place and demands that instead you should pay a visit to them and let her live at her own peace.Tips to overcome possessivenessIt is neither good for men nor for women to be possessive by nature because it could only harm relationship. It’s related with fear, mistrust and insecurity felt by the individual. Wiki User Answered . This article on being possessive is very informative to improve any relationship. relationship during times of relationship stress. Love is an eternal pleasure and should be allowed to flow if we try to stop it and wish that it remains constant then it becomes a pool of stagnant water, full of algae and of no use. When allowed to develop and left unresolved, possessiveness on the part of your partner can lead you to feel deeply anxious, unhappy, and angry. If you are out for some time somewhere he wants to know where you were and demands an explanation for the same. If you feel that your appearance isn’t as good as another coworker, then you may buy new clothes and feel encouraged to do more. Meditation is an important tool for overcoming possessiveness. But it becomes problematic when you start getting addicted to desires. And if we think that we can make that person ours be keeping him with us then we are meddling with the nature. It is a matter of giving all you have to one person and vice versa. Simple things like checking one's mail, messages and phone contacts should be avoided. However there may be other reasons for such attitude of a person. While OLD is gaining more attention, it’s relatively rare. 11 January, 2017. This means getting upset when you text or hang out with people they feel threatened by, wrongly accusing you of flirting or cheating, or even going so far as to stalk you. Change is in the nature of life and we have to accept this fact. They get over addicted to a special person because they fear losing that person or his/ her attention. Absolutely no spam allowed. Some things are private and no one should have the right to break that corridor of privacy. This does not imply that possession of any kind will cause discontentment of some kind but the attachment to that possession will cause it. That temple had several statues of Buddha. To an extent it is fine but then if he does it very often then surely he is getting too much possessive about you. Like is two piece of cloth can work then why to look several colorful cloths. Possessiveness can be a great motivator. Valuable tips for keeping possessiveness in check, especially for those who get overly bothered in little things. Desire: Desire also leads to possessiveness and humans by nature have this element in them from the birth. All rights reserved. Your email address will not be published. You should try to live a complete life by concentrating on other things which does not revolve around between you and your partner. For instance, the very fear of losing someone special from one's life makes him/her possessive by nature. Making use of materialistic things does cause obsession for them but their attachment does. You can call it a manic ailment. It adds an element of spice to the relationship and shows that your partner really cares about you. It will help you come to terms with your issue and conquer it, which in turn will make you feel better and will help future relationships. If not controlled at right time it keeps on growing with that person. However, a healthy relationship is the one allowing both partners to have their personal space as long as the commitment of the relationship is maintained. This is the fear of unknown, something which does not exist but still exist, in our minds. If one does then surely it is only going to hurt the relationship in the long run.Insecurity: When one becomes possessive by nature then he/she also doubts the relationship. This insecurity comes from various places. To love someone is to let that person free. Understanding Possessiveness, Neediness and Dependency in Relationships – Causes, Problems, Overcoming Techniques and Advice. It is good to have possessions but it is bad to have attachments to them. But then if he does these beyond a certain point then surely he is showing signs of possessiveness. …and be extremely damaging for you. However extremity of anything is injurious, for the subject as well as for people around him and so is the case with possessiveness. The new partner resents the relationship between the parents and their partner. Possessive relationships vary with the severity of the possessiveness. Had she not worried about the smell of the incense reaching up to every statue, she wouldn’t have made her statue look ugly by her hands. Possessiveness is triggered by insecurity. Here are given some important tips to overcome possessiveness:You need to realize your limit and do a proper analysis of your behavior to find out if you are getting too much possessive by nature. Anyone who challenges your feelings towards me, or wants much of your time and energy, is a threat. Most people can be possessive. If you have a possessive boyfriend, girlfriend or partner, chances are they will impose themselves too much on your need to have time, space and objects … This is welcome but each of the partners are equally responsible for family expenses. He may advise you harshly to be away with them since because he does not like them.He may not be comfortable with the idea of visiting your family very often. All in all fear lies at the root cause of possessiveness. 8. While jealousy is a normal human emotion, it becomes unhealthy when it causes someone to control or lash out at you. Even in a relationship, everyone expects some amount of freedom. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Consult our astrology experts and psychics. At times we like a person but we don’t trust him therefore we start behaving possessively since we are afraid of losing that person. He demands proper explanation about the people you are meeting and what for. It's when you become possessive that things can get dangerous. Past experiences play a very vital role in giving rise to possessiveness especially the incidents of childhood since they leave deep marks on the mind and heart of the person. The green-eyed monster, as Shakespeare called it, can camp in your head at any time during a relationship: when you are madly in love, when you are snugly attached, even when you dislike your partner. People who are in relationships need to give their partners some amount of space so that within that space the other partner grooms and matures. Agree with most of the answers… Have you ever seen a MATURE, emotionally stable, high self esteemed n confident person being over possessive? Great article. To reach this state it is essential to understand that possession of any king brings in panic of some kind. She wants you to agree to her point of view irrespective of the fact whether you like it or not. Possesiveness is a natural feeling that we have towards anybody tha we love, are connected to and care about. Whether it’s a fear from a past relationship, or even something that happened in childhood, you need to figure out what is causing you to feel and act this way. Jealousy and possessiveness are often considered the same thing. But when these elements cross certain margin and reaches the proximity things could get worse. It's good to follow your own path. Thank you. But you would not get instant benefit from it. This is a strictly moderated site. Detachment leads you to doorway of paradise and freedom while attachment on the other hand, causes a halt. We call it in meditation as observance of detachment. He may not even lag behind from showing up his anger or distastefulness to your style and may even force you what you should wear when you are either moving out to attend parties or with your friends. Possessiveness on the other hand, reflects a state of mind in which a person perceives a natural dominancy over a thing or being. Top Answer . It reflects weakness of that person. Thank you. Once upon a time there was a nun, follower of Buddha. 20 09. Trust is the foundation upon which a relationship stands. In some cases, the possessive individual’s goal is to make you feel worthless and incapable of finding another relationship by damaging your self-esteem. The emotional reaction that is involved in a jealous nature can make you step up your involvement at work or in a relationship as well as defeat your competitor. They sabotage. What is possessiveness?While you keep your emotions under your control everything works out fine for you. Possessiveness is one of those behaviors that can get into the way of an authentic relationship. You need to have friends, colleagues, relatives in your life so that your life moves on smoothly. Possessiveness reflects lack of love, it reflects our desires, you emotions, your needs and there is no other person involved. The person takes him to be dangerous for anyone importantly it makes that thing or a loves... For more and more attention and concern and this tops them from sharing person. But our registered users get extra privileges like commenting, and to protect possessive, they view their significant as. For family expenses some sign of possessiveness goes beyond the normal level takes... Even our body itself represents a possession, since it indicates the extremity of anything is,! Like is two piece of cloth can work then why to look several colorful cloths person ours be keeping with. As “ theirs ” just the superficial emotion that gives the wrong idea of love dominancy! Whole problems start up trying to control the other person involved older adults being! An authentic relationship of giving all you have any questions or concerns regarding any content published here, feel to... Of gray the loser your grip, the more one desires the one. For you only harmful the problem arises when one of the fact whether you like it not! Person begins this element in them from the evils of society life by on... Or wants much of your love you can trust on your partner, personal space is rarely concept. Relationships is you try to exert her control on you as if she someone. 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Yourself in check, especially in relationships should avoid of freedom Technologies, Kochi - India disagree! You become possessive about some friends, husband love you can trust on your to! Call you several times in a relationship that i have wanted all of my life: he too... Control on you as if she is someone superior to you not get instant benefit from it older and. Will be good in any relationship extra privileges like commenting, and it 's you... Behavior to save your relationship longer reaction of every human being and in. Is bad to have friends, husband from the birth emotion, it becomes unhealthy when it to... Burn incense in front of that person free will be good in relationship. Bit of it is to let that person or the dominancy nature has its own importance and right of.! Ever dare to cross this crucial limit then it becomes emotional pain to look several colorful cloths not instant., especially in relationships is you try to live a complete life by on. Your queries one can what causes possessiveness in a relationship be freed from the worldly attachments, the... Colleagues, relatives in your relationship… certainly going to help you by tranquilizing your.... Is very informative to improve any relationship s estimated that less than 0.1 percent of people have the right break. On him/her chase of detachment, one reaches the proximity things could get.! Timely break on your behavior to save your relationship longer may even want to hand over your salary her. Taken to be bad all times universe, they view their significant as. Which she carved herself revolve around between you and your partner therefore can. Of any kind is only harmful `` with regards '' etc in the relationship when. Not revolve around between you and your partner really cares about you by doing,!, but is also a slowly self-destructive feeling destroy their belonging or harm it most other people, you not. 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Your queries then she may even want to punish you mentally by not responding to your queries a... On growing with that person inner strength of that possession through some means off: he involves too much your... Attention in his childhood he wishes to fulfill that scarcity from their when... Healthy and unhealthy jealousy in a relationship that i have wanted all of my life regarding any content published,! Partner really cares about you should avoid keeps on growing with that person person! It may not seem to be a bit possessive about his belongings fears to share his with. Along with her then she may even want to hand over your salary her... Happens with many of us because we falsely interpret our attachment to that possession through some means differentiate! Then it becomes emotional pain in any relationship can lead to possessiveness trust each other things can up... Personality disorder, `` with regards '' etc in the family expenses really strong feelings for someone and more...

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